after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died

Average rating: 7

Gorgeous {Boh lei chun} (1999) - "Young and beautiful Bu (Shu Qi) finds a romantic message in a bottle near her family restaurant in Taiwan. On a whim, she flies to Hong Kong to meet her potential soul mate, who turns out to be Albert (Tony Leung Chiu Wai), a gay makeup artist pining for his ex. Taking pity on the girl, he brings her to his workplace, where she falls for the wealthy and lonely C.N. Chan (Jackie Chan). But when Chan's lifelong enemy, Lo (Emil Chow), discovers Chan's new happiness, he decides to ruin things."
length: 2 hours, 1 minute

source: I borrowed the DVD from the public library
I watched it because: I love Tony Leung Chui Wai, and am becoming more of a fan of Jackie Chan
IMDB: 6.0/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: N/A% Audience: 56%
my IMDB: 9/10

MPAA rating: PG-13

notable quote: "'I'm confused! I think I'm in love.'

    'Well, love is just a state of mind, more fantasy than truth. Love is like a radiant dream that quickly turns into an ugly nightmare.'"

directed by: Vincent Kok

my notes: this movie is amazing! I laughed out loud several times, at least once needing to pause the DVD while I brought myself back under control. Shu Qi (Bu) is wonderful, realistically conveying the young, silly Bu's growth and changes. Tony Leung Chui Wai is WAY funnier than I'd ever realized, terrific with physical comedy (not much of a surprise, given his many awesome action roles), and hilariously deadpan as Albert, the reluctant sidekick. I was surprised and impressed by Bradley James Allan (Alan), the hired fighter. 

    And Jackie Chan is really, really good. My mind had opened to him when I first saw Little Big Soldier (2010; reviewed here) and my admiration has grown over time. He produced, co-wrote, and co-stunt coordinated the film, in addition to starring. 

NOTE: this is only the second movie I've loved so much that, while I was watching it, I bought a copy for myself.  

overall: very highly recommended

 

The Expendables 2 (2012) - "Mercenary leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) and the rest of the Expendables team reunite when Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) hires them for a seemingly easy job. But things go terribly wrong, compelling the mercenaries to seek revenge for a comrade's murder. With the odds against them, Barney and his team are hell-bent on payback and cut a path of destruction through opposing forces, only to encounter an unexpected threat: six pounds of weapons-grade plutonium."
length: 1 hour, 43 minutes

source: I borrowed the set through the public library
I watched it because: I want to see the series
IMDB: 6.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 68% Audience: 67%
my IMDB: 7/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "'You don't talk about him much.'

    'No, that's how we deal with death. Can't change what it is so we keep it light until it's time to get dark—and then we get pitch black.'"

directed by: Simon West

my notes: a tour of action stars, old and new. Liam Hemsworth is surprisingly good as Billy. Chuck Norris! Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jet Li and Jason Statham. Mmmmm

    It's not the best story ever, or the most easy to follow, but it's exciting and entertaining, with some terrific effects.  

overall:  recommended

Stalag 17 (1953) - "One night in 1944 in a German POW camp housing American airmen, two prisoners try to escape the compound and are quickly discovered and shot dead. Among the remaining men, suspicion grows that one of their own is a spy for the Germans. All eyes fall on Sgt. Sefton (William Holden) who everybody knows frequently makes exchanges with German guards for small luxuries. To protect himself from a mob of his enraged fellow inmates, Sgt. Sefton resolves to find the true traitor within their midst."
length: 2 hours

source: I borrowed the DVD through the public library

I watched it because: I like William Holden and was looking for something in WWII
IMDB: 7.9/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 91% Audience: 92%
my IMDB: 7/10

MPAA rating: Approved

notable quote: "Is there anything in the Geneva Convention that'll let a guy sleep?"

directed by: Billy Wilder

my notes: well, it's WWII and William Holden. It's also a comedy (?) and very noisy. Holden was good, though this wasn't his best or most comfortable role. I liked Neville Brand (Duke), Gil Stratton (Cookie), and Don Taylor (Dunbar). It's a good story, and worth seeing. 

Academy Award winner:
• Best Actor—Holden
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Supporting Actor—Robert Strauss

• Best Director—Wilder
overall:  recommended

Taking Lives (2004) - "An insidious serial killer is impersonating his victims' identities as he travels across Canada. A recent spate of murders in Montreal has brought FBI Agent Illeana Scott (Angelina Jolie) north to investigate. Scott's unusual methods quickly earn the suspicion of the local police but bring her close to art dealer James Costa (Ethan Hawke), who says he was an eyewitness to the latest murder. Sparks develop between the two as Costa's role becomes crucial in their effort to apprehend the killer."
length: 1 hour, 43 minutes

source: I borrowed the DVD through the public library
I watched it because: I'm on the hunt for Tchécky Karyo movies
IMDB: 6.2/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 22% Audience: 54%
my IMDB: 5/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "'What kind of gun did he have?'

    'He had the kind that leaves really big holes in people.'"

directed by: D.J. Caruso

my notes: is there a term for mystery, suspense, thriller movies that rest entirely on bizarre and elaborate coincidences? 

    The quote that I shared is typical of this script: wince-inducing, pathetic, and bland. Jolie's Ileana is mesmerizing but tedious. Ethan Hawke is either really good (e.g. in Dead Poets Society [1989, reviewed here and elsewhere], Before the Devil Knows You're Dead [2007, reviewed here]) or terrible, and just guess which one this is? I liked Oliver Martinez as the meathead Paquette, and especially Jean-Hugues Anglade as Duval. Karyo was good, though wasted in the small role of the wistful Leclair. 

    Roger Ebert's review is here, by which I am terribly amused: 

This keeps reading like a negative review. I’ve got to get a grip on myself. See, I like movies that make me ask goofy questions..., as long as they absorb and entertain me, and have actors who can go the distance.

overall: marginally recommended

 

[the title quotation is from The Expendables 2]