pie is a parable of human life

1. If all your thoughts so far today appeared as text above your head, how many people would you have offended already? 

    4 (it's only 8:33 AM as I write this):

    * A well-meaning but early-birdish friend who likes to text before 7:AM. I never respond until a couple of hours later, in a mild effort to encourage later communications.

    * A work friend who I get along with pretty well but who doesn't know when to quit. "First time funny, tenth time not."

    * Two temporary coworkers who are passive-aggressive, inconsiderate, rude, presumptuous, arrogant, and not nearly as smart or well-liked as they think they are. 

 

2. Which app on your phone is the most useful, and which is the most useless but fun? 

    most useful: Libby (a free app that lets you stream or download ebooks, audiobooks, and magazines from your library)

    useless but fun: Offline Games (short puzzle games that don't use much space), especially since NYT Games locked even more behind their paywall

 

3. Other than water, what would you most like to jump into a pool of? 

    money, assuming that—like Scrooge McDuck—it wouldn't kill me

 

4. If a time-traveler from fifty years ago arrived in the world today, what would disappoint them? 

    everything except maybe microwave cooking and gas mileage. 

 

5. How many clocks do you have in your home and do they all keep the correct time? 

    there are 2 clocks, one on the stove and one on the microwave. They are capable of keeping time correctly, but are never set to the actual time. Electricity service in this area can be easily disrupted, and it's a pain to set each of them; why oh why does it take so many different button-pushes to make that happen? I just poke them enough to make them stop blinking and call it good. 

    Anyway, if I need to know the exact time (and how often does that happen? Only when starting and leaving work) I use my watch, phone, or computer. 

 

6. If you had to compile a top ten list of your favorite pies, which one would get the number one spot? 

    peach melba. The rest of the list: apple, rhubarb (with or without strawberries), cherry, peanut butter, raspberry, blueberry, French silk, blackberry, and homemade banana cream (NOT banana pudding but actual vanilla custard with fresh bananas). not necessarily in that order. 

 

 6. Have you ever pretended to be an answerphone message?

      no, but one of the funniest moments of my life was watching my mom and my friend Brent trying to do that. The story is way more hilarious in my head than the retelling could ever be, so I'll just leave it there. 

[from 3000 Unique Questions about Me; the title quotation is by Nick Harkaway, from The Gone-Away World]