you put your time where your priority is

1. Under what circumstances would you say it's better to be safe than sorry? 

    keeping winter-weather gear in the car (it always snows earlier than expected), waiting an extra couple of minutes before biting into a battered chicken sandwich (always so much hotter than I think it's going to be), and triple-checking that I'm sending out the proper item from my eBay inventory. 

 

2. What's the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night? 

    put on hand lotion. I absolutely loathe the feeling of even slightly dry skin against the sheets.

 

3. What would happen if everyone on Earth jumped at the same time? 

    the world would implode. Not from the physical effects of the jumping but because more than two people agreed to any damned thing and followed through accordingly.

 

4. Do you know what every button on your TV remote control is for? 

    ha! Not even close. My TV remote includes a cursor that runs via scroll wheel. It is not intuitive for me, and I only ever touch it by accident. Whatever nonsense it's activated against my will then has to be cancelled. It's disruptive and annoying, and there is no way to disable it.

 

5. What's the most irksome challenge you deal with in daily life? 

     money.

 

6. Have you ever spoken up for someone else? What was it about? 

    heck yeah. It's happened a lot, and I would be reluctant to be friends with someone who hadn't done it, who couldn't point to a specific time when someone was important enough to do it.

    The last time was when I told Lord Farquaad that I will work on any project he wishes - but only on the condition that Blackbeard comes with. 

 

7. What was the last item you put in your basket on Amazon? 

    cough medicine. I've been sick since the end of October, progressing from strep to viral sinus infection to what now seems like either bronchitis or my first foray into Covid. 

 

 [from 3000 Unique Questions about Me; the title quotation is by Sebastian Faulks, from Engleby]

go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call. ... Get out. Vanish.

Average rating: 7.75

Thunderheart (1992) - "When a series of murders stuns a small Native American reservation, the FBI sends in agent Ray Levoi to investigate. While Ray is relatively inexperienced, he is one quarter Sioux and the FBI hopes that will make it easier for them to gather information from the locals. While the reservation police officer views the agent as an outsider, the tribal elder believes him to be the reincarnated spirit of Thunderheart, a Native American hero."
length: 1 hour, 59 minutes

source: I borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: I wanted to have a Val Kilmer retrospective
IMDB: 6.8/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 91% Audience: 75%
my IMDB: 7/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "'In case you didn't know it, officer, violation of the...'

    '...Major Crimes Act on an Indian reservation is within the jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Intimidation. I know that.'"

directed by: Michael Apted

my notes: for some reason that I cannot understand, I didn't like this one the first time I saw it. It is possible that the subsequent passing of both Graham Greene (Walter Crow Horse) and Val Kilmer (Ray Levoi) has altered the film's emotional chemistry. It's also possible I was in the wrong mood to get into it before. In any case: I liked it. I thought Kilmer's character appreciably grew, from start to finish, and that the remaining characters (particularly Greene's) added real flavor to the action. 

    Roger Ebert's review is here, which I now see—upon my second viewing of the movie—as a revelation. 

overall:  recommended

 

Field of Dreams (1989) - "When Iowa farmer Ray hears a mysterious voice one night in his cornfield saying "If you build it, he will come," he feels the need to act. Despite taunts of lunacy, Ray builds a baseball diamond on his land, supported by his wife, Annie. Afterward, the ghosts of great players start emerging from the crops to play ball, led by "Shoeless" Joe Jackson. But, as Ray learns, this field of dreams is about much more than bringing former baseball greats out to play."
length: 1 hour, 47 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: I was in the mood for something gentle

    previously reviewed here
IMDB: 7.5/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 88% Audience: 86%
my IMDB: 8/10

AFI: 10 Top 10 (2008) Fantasy #6 

    100 Years…100 Cheers (2006) #28

MPAA rating: PG

notable quote: "This is really new territory for both of us, I know, but we're dealing with primal forces of nature here, all right? When primal forces of nature tell you to do something, the prudent thing is not to quibble over details."

directed by: Phil Alden Robinson

my notes: I enjoy movies that are unabashedly sweet without getting sticky, and this is one of the all-time greats. Kevin Costner is marvelous, a loosey-goosey boy next door. I completely adore Ray Liotta and James Earl Jones. And as much as I'd like to review this in an intellectual or scientific way—it's a guaranteed tearjerker for me, which I love. 

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I fondly agree.

Academy Award nominee: 

• Best Picture—Lawrence Gordon, Charles Gordon 

• Best Writing, Screenplay based on material from another medium—Robinson 

• Best Music, Original Score—James Horner
overall: highly recommended

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) - "In 19th century Qing Dynasty China, a warrior (Chow Yun-Fat) gives his sword, Green Destiny, to his lover (Michelle Yeoh) to deliver to safe keeping, but it is stolen, and the chase is on to find it. The search leads to the House of Yu where the story takes on a whole different level."
Length: 2h | Source: my DVD | directed by: Ang Lee | Why I watched: it's been a long time, and the first time through I think I missed a lot

IMDb: 7.9/10 | Rotten Tomatoes: 98% / 86% Audience | My IMDb: 7/10 MPAA: PG-13 Tone & Texture: Lyrical melancholy / grace tethered to destiny 

notable quote: "Sharpness is a state of mind."

my notes: I don't dislike it, but there's something I'm clearly not getting. Ziyi Zhang (Jen) is not a fave, defaulting more to 'blankness' than 'serenity' and fighting in an uncontrolled fashion. I do like Chow Yun-Fat (Li Mu Bai) and Michelle Yeoh (Yu Shu Lien), and was impressed by the physicality and rawness in Chang Chan (Yo).

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I do not entirely agree.

Academy Award winner (6x nominee):
• Best Cinematography—Peter Pau 

• Best Music, Original Score—Duo Tan

• Best Art Direction - Set Decoration—Tim Yip

• Best Foreign Language Film—Taiwan

Themes: love redefined through loss / redemption through restraint / ghosts of responsibility
overall:  recommended

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) - "Two-bit crook Harry Lockhart stumbles into an audition for a mystery film while on the run from the cops. Winning the part, he lands in Hollywood, where he's flung into a tangled, murderous conspiracy with his childhood sweetheart, Harmony Lane, and hard-boiled private eye Perry van Shrike."

Length: 1h, 43m | Source: my DVD | directed by: Shane Black  |  Why I watched: Val Kilmer retrospective in process (previously reviewed here and here)

IMDb: 7.4/10 | Rotten Tomatoes: 86% / 87% Audience | My IMDb: 9/10 MPAA: R 

Tone & Texture: Sardonic noir / chaos wrapped in charm 

notable quote: "You think that's funny? I'm gonna break your nose now."

my notes: such a delightful, sarcastic, fun film. I love Val Kilmer as (Gay) Perry van Shrike, all deliciously cool, gorgeous action hero. I found it clever, engrossing without excessive tricks, and very satisfying. 

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I completely disagree.

Themes: authenticity under pressure / loyalty tested / the fragile ordinary 

overall: strongly recommended

 

[the title quotation is from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang]

telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

💃🕺 What’s Your Secret Superpower at Parties? 🍷🍺

 

Everyone brings something unique to a gathering. 

What’s your contribution? 

Answer these to reveal your party superpower.

---

1. At a party, you’re most likely found:

    A) Telling stories in the kitchen

    B) Dancing or starting the playlist

    C) Deep in a one-on-one conversation    

    D) Helping the host and keeping things smooth

 

2. Your pre-party ritual:

    A) Plan an outfit

    B) Hype yourself with music

    C) Convince yourself to actually go    

    D) Bring snacks/drinks to share

 

3. What’s your favorite party snack?

    A) Chips & guac

    B) Anything cheesy

    C) Veggie platter (and maybe wine)    

    D) Dessert tray

 

4. If the energy dips, you:

    A) Tell a funny story

    B) Turn up the music

    C) Find someone to check in with    

    D) Refill glasses, pass food

 

5. Your party exit style:

    A) Long goodbyes

    B) Irish exit (sneak out)

    C) Thank every person you talked with    

    D) Help clean before leaving

 

Results in the comments!

 

[quiz generated by chatGPT; the title quotation is by Criss Jami, from Killosophy]

I finish work, I go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk, and go to bed

When I look back on my romantic history, it occurs to me that I’ve essentially been dating Muppets. In temperament, energy, and emotional resonance, the comparison fits uncannily well. Each relationship left me with lessons that are clearer in hindsight than they ever were in the moment. The framework of four very different archetypes—Kermit, Rowlf, Beaker, and Animal—turns out to be a surprisingly precise map of what I need, what I tolerate, and what I simply cannot sustain. 

 

High school and early college brought a series of Beakers into my orbit. Bright, curious, and expressive in ways that often left me laughing or holding my breath, they were exciting and exhausting. With them, I learned the importance of patience, not just for my partner, but for myself. The Beaker-type requires a capacity to embrace unpredictability, and though I admired their brilliance, I realized that I also need a grounding presence. Their energy was infectious, but it rarely joined in my inner world; it had its own trajectory, and I was along for the ride, not co-piloting. 

 

Then came the Animals: loud, unrestrained, and passionate. College was on a high-octane, head-spinning pandemonium. Loving an Animal-type taught me something fundamental: boundaries are necessary, and intensity is thrilling but unsustainable when it’s untempered. Looking back, the thrill of their energy was seductive, but it was also chaotic in ways that didn’t allow any rest or comfort. The lessons were vivid, memorable, and sometimes bruising (physically, emotionally, and metaphorically). I carry them with affection, even amusement, but minimal longing to reconnect. 

 

In my twenties and early thirties, I was married to Kermit. Calm, conscientious, endearingly earnest; he could listen and empathize, and he almost always knew the right thing to say. At first, this felt like the gold standard: predictable, safe, comforting. After twelve years, though, I realized that “safe” had morphed into “non-challenging.” The conversations were so gentle, the rhythms so predictable. We were not growing anymore. I came to realize that I longed for a partner who would nudge me, surprise me, or drag me, insistently, out of my own head. Kermit cared and warmed, yes, and I will always be grateful for that. I just needed more electricity than he could provide. 

 

After Kermit, I lapsed back into the Animals. This ought to be a surprise to no one, since it was a predictable rebound even at my advanced age. There were even a handful of Gonzos and at least one Snuffleupagus thrown into the mix. It was an unsettled phase, more error than trial. 

 

Somehow, in the quiet reflection of middle age and later adulthood, I keep landing on Rowlf. Steady, soulful, and quietly witty, he strikes the balance that I think I’ve been searching for all along. He’s capable of laughter without excess, musicality without performance, and loyalty without demands. Being with a Rowlf-type feels like coming home after a long day: safe, understood, and quietly joyful. He meets me where I am, joins me in my headspace, and yet opens a world beyond it—a shared inner life that’s rich, playful, and unforced. Rowlf teaches me that love doesn’t need fireworks to feel alive; it needs resonance, patience, and a willingness to really listen to the other person. 

 

This exercise—framing my romantic history in Muppet terms—isn’t meant to trivialize real relationships and intimacy; rather, it’s a lens through which I can see my own patterns and preferences with humor, grace, and honesty. Humor softens the edges of reflection, making insight palatable, and in examining these archetypes, I’ve gained a vocabulary for what matters to me in a partner. Compatibility isn’t about perfection; it’s about resonance, growth, and shared values, even if one party occasionally squeaks, drums, or hums along the way. 

 

So, yes: I’ve dated Beakers, and Kermit, and the Animals, and each taught me something indispensable. When I close my eyes, though, it’s Rowlf who appears: clever, loyal, quietly affectionate, and attuned to me. It’s a reminder that the relationship that endures, and the love that feels most like home, is often that which mirrors our own depth, temperament, and capacity for joy. That’s the sweetest lesson of all: after all the wild, brilliant, loud, or overly careful choices, it’s the soulful, steady connection that lasts. 

 

[inspired by my results from the "Which Muppet Should You Date?" quiz; the title quotation is by Rowlf the dog, from The Muppet Movie]

life is like a movie. Write your own ending, keep believing, keep pretending

🎭 Which Muppet Should You Date? 🎭 

Ever wondered which Muppet would totally get your vibe? 

Take the Which Muppet Should You Date? quiz 

and find out if your heart belongs to 

 💘 Animal’s chaos, Beaker’s brilliance, Kermit’s calm, or Rowlf’s warmth. 

 It’s slyly romantic, scientifically un-serious, 100% fuzzy fun. 💘 

Because love comes in many forms— 

sometimes green, sometimes furry, 

and sometimes loudly banging on drums. 

---

1. Your ideal date night is:

A. A moonlit walk by the pond, sharing quiet laughter and tea. 

B. A cozy piano lounge with mellow jazz and good conversation. 

C. A science lab "experiment" that may or may not involve sparks (literal or emotional). 

D. A wild night at a rock club that ends with glitter in your hair.  

 

2. What’s your love language?

A. Words of affirmation—gentle encouragement makes your heart sing. 

B. Acts of service—you melt when someone just quietly takes care of things. 

C. Quality time—even if it means surviving a few accidental explosions together. 

D. Physical touch—hugs, headbangs, and drumming side-by-side.  

 

3. What do you find most attractive in a partner?

A. Emotional honesty and a calming presence. 

B. Loyalty, warmth, and the ability to listen without judgment. 

C. Curiosity and intelligence—even if communication gets... squeaky. 

D. Passion, unpredictability, and a refusal to follow any rules.  

 

4. When life gets stressful, your coping style is:

A. Taking a deep breath and finding your center. 

B. Playing music, taking a walk, or helping a friend. 

C. Diving into a project until it’s all figured out (or explodes). 

D. Screaming it out and moving on—life’s too short to bottle it up!  

 

5. What’s your idea of “forever”?

A. Building a simple, genuine partnership where both shine. 

B. Growing old together, still sharing music and laughter. 

C. A lifetime of creative chaos, but never a dull day. 

D. Burning bright, loving hard, and leaving the world with great stories. 

 

🧡 Sometimes, true love isn’t about finding the perfect person; 

it’s about finding the perfect puppet. 🧡 

 

 [custom-designed just for me by ChatGPT; the title quotation is from Jim Henson]

your uncle molests collies

Average rating: 8.25

The More the Merrier (1943) - "It's World War II and there is a severe housing shortage everywhere—especially in Washington, D.C., where Connie Milligan rents an apartment. Believing it to be her patriotic duty, Connie offers to sublet half of her apartment, fully expecting a suitable female tenant. What she gets instead is mischievous, middle-aged Benjamin Dingle. Dingle talks her into subletting to him, and then promptly sublets half of his half to young, irreverent Joe Carter—creating a situation tailor-made for comedy and romance. "
length: 1 hour, 44 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: it's been too long since I've seen it!

    previously reviewed here and watched again a month later, here
IMDB: 7.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 100% Audience: 81%
my IMDB: 10/10

MPAA rating: Approved

notable quote: "'I'm sorry, mister, but I prefer sharing my apartment with a lady.'

    'That's fine; so would I.'"

directed by: George Stevens

my notes: clever, witty, politically astute, shaded by the reality of war, this is also one of the most romantic films I have ever seen. There is a scene on a sidewalk, and then the stoop of a building, that is enough to make me swoon. And I've never seen a piece of luggage so packed with sweet, delicious woo.

    Charles Coburn is genial but grumpy, surprisingly smart, and sly as Mr. Dingle. Jean Arthur (Connie) is a tiny sprite, dances divinely, and has such a way with complex dialog. And Joel McCrea... tall, handsome, quick-witted and self-deprecating, dry and ironic. Mmmmm. He gives Joe Carter life. 

Academy Award winner: Best Supporting Actor—Coburn 

Academy Award nominee: 

• Best Picture 

• Best Actress—Arthur 

• Best Director—Stevens 

• Best Writing, Original Story—Frank Ross, Robert Russell 

• Best Writing, Screenplay—Richard Flournoy, Lewis R. Foster, Frank Ross, Robert Russell
overall: most highly recommended

 

Caddyshack (1980) - "Danny Noonan (Michael O'Keefe), a teen down on his luck, works as a caddy at the snob-infested Bushwood Country Club to raise money for his college education. In an attempt to gain votes for a college scholarship reserved for caddies, Noonan volunteers to caddy for a prominent and influential club member (Ted Knight). Meanwhile, Danny struggles to prepare for the high pressure Caddy Day golf tournament while absorbing New Age advice from wealthy golf guru Ty Webb (Chevy Chase)."
length: 1 hour, 38 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: it's a guaranteed mood-boost

    previously reviewed here, and mentioned another dozen times...
IMDB: 7.2/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 73% Audience: 87%
my IMDB: 8/10

AFI: 100 Years…100 Laughs (2000) #71 

    10 Top 10 (2008) Sports #7

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "'Where'd it go?'

    'Right in the lumberyard.'" 

directed by: Harold Ramis

my notes: it's not supposed to be great cinema, just a good time. Chevy Chase is marvelous in this persona, believably and attractively loosey-goosey. Ted Knight had such a delightful presence, a way with the supercilious and over-the-top. Rodney Dangerfield (never my choice) was so unabashed and brave! It's one big funny, silly, ridiculous laugh. 

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I disagree.

overall: always recommended

Wrath of Man (2021) - "Having barely passed the qualification exam, taciturn, inscrutable, and physically intimidating Patrick Hill (just called "H") starts working for Fortico Security, an armoured vehicle company specialising in guarding and transporting millions of dollars across Los Angeles. But, in this business, nobodies like H are the prey and not the predators, and before long, armed-to-the-teeth assailants try to rob his truck, only to die at his hands with pinpoint accuracy, in a flawlessly orchestrated ballet of bullets and death. Indeed, there is more to H than meets the eye, making Fortico's instant hero someone you don't want to mess with. Whose side is he on?"
length: 1 hour, 59 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: I've seen a lot of martial arts and historicals lately, and wanted a more standard action film 

    previously reviewed here
IMDB: 7.1/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 68% Audience: 90%
my IMDB: 7/10

MPAA rating: R (sometimes I don't even bother verifying)

notable quote: "'What you want us to do?'

    'You can do whatever the fuck you like.'"

directed by: Guy Ritchie

my notes: bleak, black, dark. My favorite of Jason Statham's films are about revenge and redemption. They revolve around the heart at the center of a storm. This one is different. It's not about a heart, though it's not empty space, either. Hard to understand, harder to describe, this is an engrossing, fascinating movie. H is a deep, chilling cat. His colleagues at the armored car company are a little silly, very competitive, clearly scared and hiding it, and also bitter as Hell. My favorites of the cast, besides Statham: Eddie Marsan (mild, smart Terry), Gerald Tyler (small-role/big impression Armourer), Darrell D'Silva (unique Mike), and Babs Olusanmokun (frightened but cheeky Moggy). And Andy Garcia (Mr. King).

    The RogerEbert.com review is here, which I found funny (and accurate). 

[H's] cell phone’s ring tone is a sample from Wagner’s "Ride of the Valkyries", and there’s zero indication that H picked it because he thought it was funny. He looks like a guy who laughed four times in the 1990s and decided it wasn’t for him.

overall:  recommended

Wasabi (2001) - "Jean Reno stars as Hubert Fiorentini, a gruff, world-weary French police detective whose life takes an unexpected turn when he’s summoned to Japan for the reading of his former lover’s will. There, he learns that she has died under mysterious circumstances—and that he has a spirited teenage daughter he never knew existed. As Hubert tries to connect with her amid Tokyo’s chaotic energy, he’s drawn into a web of corruption and intrigue tied to her mother’s past, blending sharp action, fish-out-of-water comedy, and moments of surprising tenderness."
length: 1 hour, 34 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: it's been ages since I've seen it, and I was surprised to realize I hadn't reviewed it
IMDB: 6.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 44% Audience: 69%
my IMDB: 8/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "'Does 'Takanawa' mean anything to you?'

    'Yes, of course!'

    'You will find him inside ... lying down. He and a few of his men were trying a holdup, so I had to ... dissuade them.'"

directed by: Gérard Krawczyk

my notes:  Wasabi is silly, stylized, violent chaos, and I love it. Jean Reno is baleful, world-weary Hubert, a cop with a serious anger management issue. This is revealed through his dramatically excessive punching and creative weaponry. See, e.g., the exquisite golf club scene (below). 

    I was charmed by Ryôko Hirosue as Yumi. She excels at a wide range of emotional work; the scene at the crematorium is brilliantly subtle. I also liked Michel Muller as Momo, a classic Reno sidekick with excellent timing and expression.

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I strongly disagree—even though it is hilariously written.

It is a thriller trapped inside a pop comedy set in Japan, and gives Reno a chirpy young co-star who bounces around him like a puppy on visiting day at the drunk tank. She plays his daughter, and he’s supposed to like her, but sometimes he looks like he hopes she will turn into an aspirin. 

overall:  happily recommended

 

 

[the title quotation is from Caddyshack]

my love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees

1. If you could have any view in the world visible from your bed, what would it be? 

    a backyard filled with wildflowers and trees—surrounded by a wall 50 feet high and embedded with razor wire and broken glass 

 

2. If you were to pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose? 

     Lawrence, Kansas: bookish, goofy, foody, liberal, walk-friendly

 

3. If you could have a single button beside your bed that did one thing, what would you want it to do? 

    change the temperature inside the bed 

 

4. If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?

    there is no good answer to this question. There are easy answers that require no thought (e.g. Mein Kampf) and hard answers that reveal more about one's personality but are still, in essence, judgmental and pro-censorship—and none that satisfactorily grasp the spirit of the exercise. 

 

5. If you could have had one person in your life be less candid than they were (or are), who would it be? 

    Nick was candid to the point of brutality, albeit unintentionally. The guy used a snowplow where a spatula would do.  

 

6. If in order to save your life, someone you know had to donate their heart to you (without dying), whose heart would you want inside yourself? 

    my former physical therapist, the most open and sunny soul

 

7. If you could cause any single person to change their mind about one thing or on one topic, who would you pick?

    the current vice president of the United States.  

 

[from If2: 500 New Questions for the game of life; the title quotation is by Emily Brontë, from Wuthering Heights]

beautiful as days can be

My sorrow, when she’s here with me, 

    Thinks these dark days of autumn rain 

Are beautiful as days can be; 

She loves the bare, the withered tree; 

    She walks the sodden pasture lane. 

 

Her pleasure will not let me stay. 

    She talks and I am fain to list: 

She’s glad the birds are gone away, 

She’s glad her simple worsted grey 

    Is silver now with clinging mist. 

 

The desolate, deserted trees, 

    The faded earth, the heavy sky, 

The beauties she so truly sees, 

She thinks I have no eye for these, 

    And vexes me for reason why. 

 

Not yesterday I learned to know 

    The love of bare November days 

Before the coming of the snow, 

But it were vain to tell her so,      

    And they are better for her praise. 

 

[Robert Frost {1874-1963} 'My November Guest'. This poem is in the public domain.]

for a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

🎃 Which Halloween Vibe Haunts Your Soul? 👻

 

Ghostly glam, creepy chaos, or pumpkin-spice mischief? 

Take this spooky-fun quiz to reveal your true Halloween alter ego!

---

👻 1. What’s your ideal Halloween night plan?

    A. Hosting a killer costume party 🍸

    B. Exploring a haunted house or graveyard 👀

    C. Passing out candy in your coziest PJs 🍫    

    D. Pulling harmless pranks on friends 😈

 

🧛 2. Pick your Halloween aesthetic:

    A. Gothic glam — lace, candles, and mystery 🕯️

    B. Classic horror — blood, fog, and shadows 💀

    C. Cute & cozy — pumpkins, blankets, and cocoa 🎃    

    D. Chaotic trickster — glitter, masks, and mayhem 🌀

 

🕷️ 3. What’s your candy personality?

    A. Reese’s — sweet, smooth, and popular with everyone 🍫

    B. Sour Patch Kids — bold and unpredictable 🍋

    C. Candy Corn — nostalgic and underestimated 🌽    

    D. Snickers — satisfying, but with a mischievous bite 😏

 

🧙 4. How do you decorate for Halloween?

    A. Full haunted mansion, fog machine and all 🏚️

    B. Minimal — just a pumpkin and some candles 🕯️

    C. Whimsical — cute ghosts and smiling bats 💜    

    D. Over-the-top — skeletons in every room 💀;

 

🦇 5. What scares you most?

    A. Losing control 👁️

    B. Being forgotten 🕸️

    C. Total chaos 😱    

    D. Real-life people 😬

 

Results in the comments!

 

[quiz generated by chatGPT; the title quotation is by William Shakespeare, from Macbeth]

every limit is a beginning as well as an ending

For a long time, I was the fascinated one, and he the admired. 

 

I marveled at his ease, his sureness, the way his confidence filled a room and left no corner uncertain. I watched with rapt attention. I wrote letters, small devotions in ink on paper. I scoured the earth for the perfect gift. I traveled to visit him. He cooked for me. He liked to feed people—meat seared, wine poured—and I, in turn, fed him with words. 

 

This blog was the one place where our balance reversed. Here, he became the reader and I, the voice. For years he read everything, faithfully, each post a continuation of our conversation. You make me think, he said once. You're so smart, and still so fun. 

 

Then, over time, he stopped following. "I really need to catch up," he'd say—but never did. "I really ought to take a weekend to read everything." That was the quiet red flag, when the mutual interest began to leak out through invisible seams. 

 

At first I mistook my hurt for vanity, my ego stinging at being less admired. But that wasn't it. It wasn't about being read every single day, every single post; it was about being prioritized. Mutual attention and admiration had been the bridge between us, and when it fell into disrepair, I realized how much of myself had been crossing it. How much of the effort had been mine alone.

 

What I felt was not wounded pride, but the grief of unreciprocated curiosity—the powerful ache of loss when someone stops wondering about you. Because love, at its most alive, is made of wonder: not only "I love who you are", but "I love the revelation of who you are becoming". 

 

When that discovery ended, something within me turned its face toward a different sun. I began to write (and blog) more, not less. I formed new patterns, habits, and small rituals just for me. I sought spaces where my own curiosity could breathe freely again—places where thought could stretch without waiting to be met. 

 

He had been the admired; I was the fascinated. 

But somewhere along the way, I became both, for myself: the question and the answer, the seeker and the seen. 

 

[the title quotation is by George Eliot, from Middlemarch]

angel of wishing, angel of fortune

How will it feel months from now

when the pink sliver of sky swims in 

through the window and you hear 

the high notes from the opera singer 

one story below. Angel of wishing, 

 

angel of fortune, the cart overturned, 

the small animals from the back 

of the truck flooding the highway. 

The keys keep making the piano be. 

 

I have only ever wanted the red sky 

to turn blue. It’s so beautiful 

when it sinks in. Hold me, closeness 

says. As long as I have sight, I’ll see. 

 

The walls of time dissolve whenever 

the lights are turned off. The lights 

that made the day so easy to be with. 

I fold myself away. No mirage 

 

of sirens hammering the glass front 

of the hospital down the block. 

Stars guide the eye across the sky. 

It will be like that. Again, and again. 

 

[Mary Jo Bang {1946- } 'How will it feel months from now', originally published with the Shelter in Poems initiative on poets.org]

what if you got all your whys answered? Would you be satisfied then?

1. Have you ever had a work-related dream or nightmare? 

    all. the. time. That's how my work stress keeps itself at a minimum--by playing out in my dreams. Some of the recent ones:

    * getting in trouble with a temporary supervisor for engaging in Teams chats outside those he created, and being screamed at (in chat form) by him that my regular boss (Lord Farquaad) and I are "bad communicators"

    * attending a conference which seemed to involve nothing except my three regular coworkers (Blackbeard the pirate, Lord F., and the gentle monkey) and me getting together in a vast conference room filled with round tables, but each of us just sitting on the floor in our own corner of the room, doing our own thing. We'd each brought one of our hobbies along, and were just quietly playing by ourselves. Each evening, we'd get together at the hotel's nice restaurant for a few drinks and a fun meal. The next day, we'd do it all over again. 

    * just working in my dream, knowing that I'm not supposed to be working outside of work hours or over my state cap of hours but doing it anyway, even sometimes knowing I'm sleeping but not being able to stop. It's not a nightmare, but it's also not the most relaxing sleep. 

 

4. What is something that you find completely adorable? 

Mr. Matt McCarthy

    Mr. Matt McCarthy's surreal cat art. I recently acquired one of his micro cat prints, and I'm in love. I've followed him on IG for ages. He seems like the kind of person I'd like to know in real life. His art is surprising, sometimes funny, and often soothing in a way that is hard to describe and wonderful to feel. 

 

3. If you could change one thing about your workplace, what would it be? 

    the need to work with certain people. Every job has its social incompatibilities, and the funky communication needs and patterns of remote work seems to make it even harder to get along sometimes. 

 

5. What is the craziest thing you have ever done to attract someone’s attention? 

    at the time I suppose it didn't seem crazy.... 

    I left a party in the dead of winter during a snowstorm wearing a shirt and jeans under a normal coat, but in only my infamous Eastland boat shoes and no socks. I followed a guy who was both attractive and infuriating from the party to his house, arguing and kicking snow at him. 

    He's still infuriating (and attractive) but in the intervening years we've learned to channel all that into what is prehaps one of the finest friendships ever to develop.  

 

6. Which family event would you love to relive? 

    my wedding. I'd love to be able to go back to that day and actually enjoy it all—but from the outside looking in rather than as the focus of attention. It's the last time I would see some of those people, and I'd do it in an instant if I could.

 

7. Which of your current (or most recent) significant other's friends do you find most attractive? 

     a big, blond, pink-cheeked farmer. He's very handsome, kind, and interested in me as a person. If things had been different, he and I might have made a pretty good couple.

 

8. Who in your office would survive a zombie apocalypse and why? 

     Blackbeard, for sure. He's not a "prepper" or a weapons nut, but he's more ready than most people for whatever might come busting through the door. If I were choosing sides, he would definitely be my first pick for anything hand-to-hand or survivalist. 

 

[from here, divided and adapted; the title quotation is from Jayant Chopra]

you're so cool ... and so stupid

Average rating: 7.25

Tokyo Raiders {Dong jing gong lüe} (2000) - "Is anyone who he says he is in this caper that moves from Hong Kong and Las Vegas to Tokyo? Takahashi (Tôru Nakamura) doesn't show up in Vegas for his wedding; his disconsolate bride, Macy (Kelly Chen), heads home for Hong Kong and finds Yung (Ekin Cheng), an interior decorator, waiving a check of Ken's that has bounced. She leaves immediately for Tokyo to find her businessman boyfriend, and Yung tags along. Ken's flat is teeming with members of a gang led by Takeshi Ito (Hiroshi Abe), who are also looking for Ken. John and Macy escape, with the help of a crew of look-alike cuties who work for Lin (Tony Leung Chiu-wai), who claims to be a private investigator. He too is looking for Ken. Where is Ken, why has he disappeared, and who will find him first? "
length: 1 hour, 58 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: Tony Leung Chiu-wai is on the must-watch list
IMDB: 5.8/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: N/A% Audience: 53%
my IMDB: 7/10

MPAA rating: PG-13

notable quote: "Morons! ...messed up my hair."

directed by: Jingle Ma

my notes: insane, stupid, funny, and kind of wonderful. Leung plays off his handsome suaveness beautifully. He captures a unique mix of (the cartoon) Inspector Gadget, Val Kilmer's supremely unselfconscious silliness in Top Secret! (1984), and some Sean Connery James Bond vibes. He is comical, terrifically skilled with martial arts and flying, and always manages to keep his hair looking smooth.

    Cheng was a surprise to me. He can hide his light under a bushel, but when he lets it out it's powerful stuff. I also liked Abe as the jittery, wacked-out mob boss Ito

overall:  recommended

 

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966) - "It sure is fun when Charlie Brown and his Peanuts pals get together for the big Halloween celebration. In fact, it's downright spooktacular. ....
    "This Halloween is very special for good ol' Charlie Brown. He's finally been invited to a party! Snoopy gets to join the fun, so look out, Red Baron! Linus will find out once and for all if the Great Pumpkin will rise up out of his pumpkin patch 'with his bag of toys for all the good children.'"
length: 25 min.

source: I own the DVD (set)
I watched it because: it's that time of year again

    previously reviewed here
IMDB: 8.1/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 90% Audience: 85%
my IMDB: 9/10

MPAA rating: TV-G

notable quote: "'You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.'

    'Welcome to the 20th century!'"

directed by: Bill Melendez

my notes: cute, clever, and sweet, this is such a sweet memory of childhood. I love it.

Daytime Emmy Award nominee:
• Outstanding Children's Program—Lee Mendelson, Melendez 

• Special Classifications of Individual Achievements—Melendez (director) 

• Special Classifications of Individual Achievements—Charles M. Schulz (writer) 
overall: highly recommended

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) - "Detective Riggs (Mel Gibson) tries to settle down with his pregnant girlfriend, Lorna (Rene Russo), while his partner, Murtaugh (Danny Glover), comes to grips with the marriage of his pregnant daughter, Rianne (Traci Wolfe), to fellow cop Butters (Chris Rock). But they find themselves and their families targeted by Chinese mobsters, led by Wah Sing Ku (Jet Li). Riggs, Murtaugh, Butters and private eye Getz (Joe Pesci) decide to go on the offensive before the gangsters get to their loved ones."
length: 2 hours, 7 minutes

source: I own the DVD (set)
I watched it because: I've seen the rest of the series this summer, and wanted to get the whole experience at once
IMDB: 6.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 53% Audience: 64%
my IMDB: 6/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "You sure picked a strange angel, baby. But I got the message."

directed by: Richard Donner

my notes: it starts in such a wonderfully intriguing way, with the Van Halen-spewing, flame-thrower-wielding, armed-with-automatic-weapons guy. Just too bad that energy couldn't continue. This is a slog. Far too many random, "heartfelt" moments at the most implausible times. I'm also not a huge fan of Chris Rock in this mode, particularly when paired with the abrasive Pesci. I did enjoy Rene Russo (she kicks butt) and of course Jet Li (gorgeous, strong, and flexible).

    Roger Ebert's review is here, by which I was amused and charmed. "Martial arts fans will enjoy a newcomer named Jet Li, who has a lot of neat moves."

overall: very mildly recommended

It's Magic, Charlie Brown (1981) - "Taking advantage of a newly acquired magic tricks kit, Snoopy decides to put on a magic act. For the finale, he turns Charlie Brown invisible, but he can't change him back right away. While Snoopy searches for the counter spell, Charlie Brown struggles with this bizarre problem, but realizes that he has a golden opportunity to finally kick Lucy's football. "
length: 24 minutes

source: I own the DVD (set)
I watched it because: it's on the Great Pumpkin disc
IMDB: 7.1/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: N/A%
my IMDB: 7/10

MPAA rating: [approved]

notable quote: "You two'd better settle down. The owner of a cat next door just called. He complained about the racket that you two were making. He says it's upsetting his cat, and for you two to stop this racket."

directed by: Phil Roman

my notes: this is a "special feature" on the Great Pumpkin disc. I think I've seen it before, though it was not memorable. It's pleasant enough, but it didn't knock me over like the holiday entries. I did particularly like Snoopy's giggles. 

Primetime Emmy Award nominee: Outstanding Animated Program—Lee Mendelson, Bill Melendez
overall:  recommended

 

[the title quotation is from Tokyo Raiders]