alas, poor Romeo, we can't do diddly

I love Beautiful Girls. It's a really good movie, poignant and funny, with one of those amazing star-studded casts that 1990s films could field. And some great lines.

"You know, there are four words I need to hear before I go to sleep. Four little words. 'Good night, sweet girl.' That's all it takes. I'm easy, I know, but a guy who can muster up those four words is a guy I want to stay with."

there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror

1. Tell us about a time that you had way too much Jose Cuervo.
   Two birthdays ago - only it was Patrón, not Cuervo, and I don't really remember much of it. I do know that I made a love-struck ass of myself before someone who [thank God] had no clue, and walked home in the rain, carrying my hat so it wouldn't get wet. Oy. This is why I avoid tequila.
2. Do you agree with the following statement: "The older you get, the faster time goes by"?
   Rumor has it that's true, something about gravity and some other blah blah. Having spent the majority of the past week waiting impatiently, I can tell you that it's definitely relative.
3. What do you usually do during your "down time?"
   read, sleep, write
4. When it comes to the opposite sex, do you feel you have a grasp on 'em - or do they continue to just surprise you?
   they're as elusive as Yeti
5. What is your home town famous for?
   It's the namesake of a kleptomaniac actress, home of the corporate headquarters of a massive screw company, has "five Catholic Parishes, twenty nine Protestant Churches, one Mormon church, and one Islamic prayer center", two seminaries--and 91 liquor licenses (that's one for every 335 people).
6. How many romantic relationships have you had?
   I'm not trying to be cute, but it really does depend on your definition of "romantic" and "relationship." Either way, though, the numbers are probably high enough to make anyone a little green about the gills. (See title quotation, by W. Somerset Maugham.)
7. What's the best concert that you've ever been to?
   Depeche Mode (opened by Nitzer Ebb, who were terrific, too), on the Black Celebration tour. Fantastic.
8. Which famous person would you like to meet? Why?
   David James Duncan. I would like to just be around the guy who wrote the best book I'll ever read.
9. Has a newspaper or television reporter ever interviewed you? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you think when you read or saw what you said?
   To my recollection, I have never been "interviewed" or quoted in any official media. That seems wise.

[from The Cat, naturally enough, who got it here]

stay away from screens

(to remind myself)

i

Make a place to sit down.
Sit down. Be quiet.
You must depend upon
affection, reading, knowledge,
skill--more of each
than you have--inspiration,
work, growing older, patience,
for patience joins time
to eternity. Any readers
who like your poems,
doubt their judgment.

ii

Breathe with unconditional breath
the unconditioned air.
Shun electric wire.
Communicate slowly. Live
a three-dimensioned life;
stay away from screens.
Stay away from anything
that obscures the place it is in.
There are no unsacred places;
there are only sacred places
and desecrated places.

iii

Accept what comes from silence.
Make the best you can of it.
Of the little words that come
out of the silence, like prayers
prayed back to the one who prays,
make a poem that does not disturb
the silence from which it came.
[Wendell Berry, 'How to Be a Poet', originally published in Poetry, January 2001]

they were born to go

let it go - the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise - let it go it
was sworn to
go

let them go - the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers - you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go - the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things - let all go
dear

so comes love
[E.E. Cummings]

maybe too much

While he was in kindergarten, everybody wanted to play

the tomtoms when it came time for that. You had to

run in order to get there first, and he would not.

So he always had a triangle. He does not remember

how they played the tomtoms, but he sees clearly

their Chinese look. Red with dragons front and back

and gold studs around that held the drumhead tight.

If you had a triangle, you didn't really make music.

You mostly waited while the tambourines and tomtoms

went on a long time. Until there was a signal for all

triangle people to hit them the right way. Usually once.

Then it was the tomtoms and waiting some more. But what

he remembers is the sound of the triangle. A perfect,

shimmering sound that has lasted all his long life.

Fading out and coming again after a while. Getting lost

and the waiting for it to come again. Waiting meaning

without things. Meaning love sometimes dying out,

sometimes being taken away. Meaning that often he lives

silent in the middle of the world's music. Waiting

for the best to come again. Beginning to hear the silence

as he waits. Beginning to like the silence maybe too much.

[Jack Gilbert, 'Waiting and Finding']

to escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

    The last week's been pretty rough. My new car wasn't running properly; it had to be jump-started several times. I was late for work a couple of times. It was bewildering, frustrating, and eventually sort of humiliating. This is one of those stereotypical ways through which you find out who your friends are.
    After all that, I'm in the home state for the next several days. There's no particular occasion apart from having some time off that needed to be used. It was a good time to be away; real life has gotten a little more real than desired lately.
    I get the impression that some apologies are expected.
    The weather is forecast to be unseasonably pleasant during my stay. If I remembered to pack my camera, I hope to get some examples to share.

[title quotation by Elbert Hubbard]

there ain't another Saint as great as Valentine

Need ideas for Valentine's Day? I've come up with some remarkably inexpensive (OK, it's all relative...), creative suggestions. Have at it!

Hodge bookends from Levenger
Sundance Catalog Organic Peridot Ring (size 5) from the Sundance Catalog

Ireland and the Second World War: Politics, Society and Remembrance
Raspberry Truffles (Dried cranberries dipped in white chocolate, dusted in raspberry powder. The most delicious confection on the planet!) from Chukar Cherries in Prosser, WA

Dremel 8200-2/28 12-Volt Max Cordless Rotary Tool kit

Meditating Cow from the Cows on Parade Mini Moos collection

Any good slow-cooker (i.e. crockpot) cookbook--or, better yet, recipes for a slow-cooker. Nothing too elaborate or in massive quantities, because after the first day of leftovers my interest wanes considerably.

OPI Start to Finish (it's a base coat and top coat [those are nail polish terms, guys] in one)

[title quotation from Ogden Nash]

lost as I wasted my time

1. My ex is... a good person, but happier (without a doubt) where he is now
2. I should learn to... change my oil
3. I love... the smell of napalm...
4. People would say that I am... a little sharper than necessary
5. I don't understand... science
6. When I wake up in the morning... I want more sleep
7. I lost... a good friend, and he/she can't see that it's his/her own damned problem
8. Life is... too short to waste it fretting about other peoples' decisions
9. My past taught me... relatively nothing, considering the magnitude of human history
10. I get annoyed... far too easily
11. Parties are... anticipated with dread, experienced with equivocation, and remembered with relish
12. I wish... ...I could be more like someone you wish that I could be
13. Dogs and cats... are analogous to human emotional types
14. My childhood pets... were a rough bunch. Our ability to pick 'em improved over time.
15. Tomorrow is... hair color day! (Postponed from Wednesday, a.k.a. snowpocalypse 2011)
16. I have a low tolerance for... sucking up
17. If I won a million dollars... I'd blow it all on booze and clothes
18. I'm terrified of... big dogs and heights
19. I've come to realize... that being by myself is more satisfying and comfortable than wading through other peoples' expectations and drama.
20. I am listening to... "The Cool, Cool River" by Paul Simon. "The rage, the rage of love turns inward"
21. I talk... to cats like they understand every word that I'm saying
22. My best friend(s)... have all seen the above scenario occur
23. My first kiss... is one for which I am literally eternally grateful; that young man changed my life. I wonder if he knew that, at any point?
24. I am thankful for... warm socks and the smile on the face of a friend
25. Marriage is... a planet that I doubt I'll visit again
26. Some where, someone is... listening to "The Cool, Cool River" and wondering if they're the only one whose heart beats faster as the horn section rises. They're not.
27. I'll always be... a book nerd
28. The last time I really cried was... not too long after Toby "let slip" some shocking news about Ulysses, which turned out to be untrue, and very convenient for his own needs
29. My cell phone is... quiet. Hasn't made a peep in half a day - the Mumbler's otherwise occupied.
30. Before I go to bed... I'll write a few pages in my journal, which is about 1/4 filled
31. My middle name... is a proper name, a noun, and a verb
32. Right now, I am thinking... about Toby, and how well he faked me. The planets aligned to help him--and pressure from my former friend aided his cause, too.
33. Yesterday I... made pork chops and scalloped potatoes for dinner, which was terrific and a good reminder of why I should cook more often
34. Tomorrow I will be... seriously trying to get to the bottom of the office clutter so I can rearrange the furniture
35. I really want to... sleep until the 25th at least
36. The person most likely to re-post this is... not going to, since she already did
37. The person least likely to re-post this is... pretending he doesn't read the blog. I know you're out there! ;)
38. My relationship with my grandparents... wasn't much to speak of. One died before I was born, another when I was pretty little, another when I was in high school, and the last when I'd just started college. Since I've 20-some cousins on each side and am pretty much square in the middle of the bunch, age-wise, I was an "anonymous girl-child". No hard feelings, just...not much feeling, really, either.
39. My most treasured possession is... a little pink card
40. My favorite pictures... are on my iPod
41. I sing... anytime I forget myself. Realized that I was jamming earlier this afternoon, which should've been embarrassing but there was no one around so I just didn't care.
42. If I were a crayon... I would be in a constant state of metaphysical terror, given that I'm motherfucking sentient
43. Someday I want to travel to... Canada, eh? I've heard the bowling is marvelous.
44. I am wearing... two layers of clothes. Stoopid groundhog.
45. My favorite class... in law school was Evidence. Why? It made sense, unlike all of the rest of them. If one understands the rules of evidence, the advantages are endless. I especially liked "subsequent remedial measures."
46. My favorite language is... Fortran
47. It hurts... but don't throw your hand
48. I’m amazed... by how hard I can laugh at "Damn You Auto Correct"--and by how lame I think the book would be
49. My profile picture is... cute but boring. Next time I'm back home I'll try to unearth something no one's ever seen.
50. I need... ...more than I want to get into here. For now, I'll just promise to put up my "excellent Valentine's Day gift ideas" post tomorrow; that should satisfy one version of this question.

[You know where I got it. She got it here; title quotation from "El Matador" by Semisonic]

who can be wise, amazed, temperate and furious, Loyal and neutral, in a moment? No man.

    It's the evening of Day 2 of The Blizzard of 2011, and I am heartily sick of the whole ordeal. On the one hand, it was definitely the biggest, nastiest winter storm I've ever seen, without a doubt. The event itself was fascinating, in a horrible way. It's peoples' reaction to it that's so tiresome. A small minority of my Facebook friends - not real friends, for the most part, but those people who crop up that you can't seem to say No to, but you don't really want to say Yes to, either - are in the "it's no big deal, meteorologists are doomsayers, I'm going out driving around to see the snow" camp. They're clearly divorced from reality, since this storm has its own Wikipedia page. (No, I didn't create it just for dramatic effect.) Not only are they failing to see what's happening right outside, but they're also potentially putting emergency workers (plow drivers, ambulance drivers, EMTs, cops) at risk because they can't take someone else's - an expert's, even - word for it. That's pretty damned selfish.

    Their opposite members are freaking out that "no one told me how bad it would be!", and were apparently very surprised by the magnitude and impact of the storm on their individual lives. This Associated Press article, posted on Yahoo.com, includes one very telling line: "Some motorists came away angry, frustrated and puzzled at why the city didn't close the crucial thoroughfare earlier, or why officials didn't anticipate that a bus accident could clog it up like a cork in a bottle."

    I've known that this storm was coming since roughly Friday. I've been watching the forecasts since then, getting ready for it. I bought groceries on Saturday. I made sure that I had adequate reading material (ha!). I even thought to talk with my parents about it, so that they wouldn't freak out when it hit because they'd know I was prepared. I was at work on Tuesday until 2:30, but I had The Weather Channel and NOAA sites on in the background of my computer so that I could click over now and then. If something unexpected had come up, I would have known. Because I am the only one who is ultimately responsible for my safety--not the boss, not those weather sites, not the local law enforcement or government, not the National Weather Service. Just me. So if I was stupid enough to put myself in danger by driving around in the middle of a declared blizzard (and eventually a state of emergency, for God's sake), I definitely wouldn't blame anyone but myself. You don't have to shut down the streets just so I won't be f---ing dumb enough to drive on them through 16" of snow. I'll make that logical leap on my own.

    It's been a really long day - I'm getting stir-crazy from being in such close proximity to the Neighbor from Hell for so long, unabated. I'm finding that she can't be awake without having the TV on, so All. Damn. Day. it's been Spanish gameshows, Spanish soap operas, Spanish talk shows, and (rather jarringly) Dr. Phil (in English). Interspersed with phone calls, during which she can't say enough good stuff about her boyfriend, who's pushing 60.

    I got her back (not really) by watching about half of one of my favorite movies, The Brylcreem Boys. I selected it in honor of the dark hero, Count Rudolph von Stegenbek, played by Angus Macfadyen. Macfayden just launched what hopes to be a recurring character on Criminal Minds: Sean McAllister. I turned off the movie while this week's CM episode was on; it involved lots of screaming and knifing; I'm sure that sounded great through the wall. Not that my TV's volume is ever set to "blaring."

    I really have had a very long day. Have I mentioned that? Very long. VERY. Apart from one text conversation, which ranged from menstruation to job interviewing to the weather (of course) to sex, I've been roaming the island alone. I was joking the other day about getting a ferret. Maybe it would be a good idea, just to have somebody around. (Nah.)

 

[title quotation by William Shakespeare, from Macbeth, act II scene iii]

there are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm

1. What are you avoiding?
   "The Blizzard of 2011," a.k.a. "Snowpocalypse", a.k.a. "Snowmageddon". After literally praying for snow for a week, now I've got it in spades and it's freakin' me the Hell out. This is (I hope it's obvious) the biggest storm I've ever seen, however you want to quantify it. I came home at 2:30 this afternoon--the place of work remained open until 5--both because it was a convenient time to stop, work-wise, and because I thought it was insane to conceptualize what I do as "essential." Just walking across the street to the parking lot was brutal, and the short drive home was treacherous. Once I got here, I knew I wouldn't be leaving until this mess is well over. What I hadn't anticipated was how isolating it would feel. It's like being on another planet, particularly since I got the text letting me know that there's no work tomorrow. I said goodbye to a couple of people before I left work; I probably won't talk again until Thursday morning. How weird is that? I've been reading, watched NCIS, ate dinner, and otherwise am just sort of pacing. I feel like a cat before an earthquake. Don't like it!
2. When was the last time you were at a bus station?
   I distinctly recall sitting in the bus/train station in A2 for a disturbingly long time, waiting for... someone. Someone came to visit me & the former spouse, by train, I think, but I've no clue who it was. We didn't get a whole lot of visitors when we were there, so it was a big deal. (Like it wouldn't be a big deal here? Don't get me started.) It was my first time in a "real" bus/train station (i.e. not the airport variety) and I probably looked like a slack-jawed yokel with my inability to hold back my fascination.
3. Describe your next-door neighbor (no names!).
   Roughly five feet tall, 10.7 stone, 55 years of age. Former Texan of Mexican descent, Roman Catholic. Divorced, one daughter, one son, one granddaughter (by the daughter). Two sisters and one brother. Mother still living. Drives a white Chevrolet Monte Carlo without excessive skill. Watches television (in English and Spanish interchangeably) for company. Has a chronic cough, a very small efficiency apartment, and a new boyfriend with whom she is extremely sexually active. ALL of this I know because it's impossible not to hear through the wall.
   
4. Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.
   Public Domain PhotoThe private university in my hometown has a cardinal for a mascot. One of my friends has likely taken several hundred, if not thousand, photographs of cardinals in various incarnations (oy, no pun intended). And this particular one (an excellent photo) reminds me of blue jays, which are quite noisy and unpleasant to wake up near, pretty as they may be.

[from The Cat, coincidentally enough, who got it here; title quotation by Willa Cather, from The Song of the Lark]