the ones chewing bits of hay and sighing

If I had been T.S. Eliot, I wouldn’t have written "The Waste Land."
As myself, however, I do plan to write it, but not with a typewriter,
and I will never turn it over to Ezra Pound’s manic red pen.
In fact, I will not even publish "The Waste Land." Instead,
I’ll whisper it to white doves that constantly appear at my window
wearing bib overalls and green mesh trucker caps, the ones
chewing bits of hay and sighing that they’ve had a scant harvest.
Then I will write "The Canterbury Tales" for vocal ensemble,
eat part of it and set fire to the rest on my kitchen table.
If I had been Geoffrey Chaucer, I would have worn Chuck Taylors
and ripped up jeans and winked broadly at my shyest students.
I would not have written "The Canterbury Tales" or "Troilus
and Criseyde," "House of Fame" or even "Parliament of Fowles";
I would have been busy drinking my daily gallon of wine
or dispensing it to the dames of Kent with the expectation
that they would get really drunk and try to pants me. Pantsed,
I would hop on them or at least play hopscotch with them
well into the wee hours as the Kentish stars winked down at us.
If I had been Shakespeare, though, I would have written "Hamlet."
That was a good idea, all things considered. Kudos to Shakespeare.

[Aaron Belz {1971- } 'the waste land' from Lovely, Raspberry]

live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry

What state or country would you never like to go back to?

Create Your Own Visited States Map

As you see, I haven't visited all that much of the country. A fair chunk in the middle and then some bits off to the one side, mostly, not counting a weekend on the left coast and a long layover in one other state.

There were good things and bad things about each of the places that I've visited, and even more so about the places that I've lived. But overall, if I had to give any one experience back, I'd trade my time in Georgia for pretty much any of the others. I have only ever been to Atlanta, and that was only a couple of times. And God knows I didn't see more than the slimmest portion of what the city has to offer. But it still just did nothing for me.

On the other hand, and all jokes aside, Kansas is very much like home to me. There's a lot of stuff to do, but even the big cities don't seem like big cities. The college towns are vibrant and interesting. There is way more topography than people seem to realize. And the weather's reasonable, too. I would happily go back there at the first opportunity.

[from a list originally found on Tumblr - this is #13; the title quotation is by Jack Kerouac]

the heart longs For desire while Closing down love

There are prayers
For which
Prayer
Is no good.

There are hopes
Made out
Of hopelessness,
& the expression
Of them
Is a desolation.

There are ways
The heart longs
For desire while
Closing down love,
& the torments
Stretch long
& far forever.

There are obsessions
Whose brand on the soul
Expresses nothing
But the life not lived.

There are dyings
That are not Death,
& the hell
Of knowing this
Is Hell.

There are loves
Only sayable
Over months
& years
Of holding on.

Ask me tomorrow,
Little one.

[Richard Bausch {1945- } 'There are Prayers' from These Extremes]

I always try to tell a story in the cinematic way, through a succession of shots and bits of film in between

It was a "short week" of movie watching due to meetings and other obligations. This bunch was not my usual lineup, but good. Lots to see here.

Primal Fear (1996) - "An altar boy is accused of murdering a priest, and the truth is buried several layers deep."
I watched it because: I was looking for something Edward Norton-y to watch and this came up as a suggestion in my library's database.
story: 3.5/5
visuals: 4/5--filmed partially on location in Chicago, many of the shots made me homesick for the flatland
acting: 3/5--standouts: Frances McDormand (Dr. Molly Arrington) and Steven Bauer (Pinero). On the other hand, Laura Linney was scenery-chewing obvious and plodding as assistant state's attorney Janet Venable.
intangibles: 3/5--a very fine ending makes it well worth watching
Academy Award nominee: Best Actor--Edward Norton
overall: 3.375/5

Romeo + Juliet (1996) - "Shakespeare's famous play is updated to the hip modern suburb of Verona still retaining its original dialogue."
I watched it because: I'm on a Leonardo DiCaprio kick lately, and wanted to see if this film falls on the side of Strictly Ballroom (wonderful) or Moulin Rouge! (dreadful) in Baz Luhrmann's "Red Curtain Trilogy." [I borrowed it from the library.]
story: 4/5--it's f'ing Shakespeare, after all
visuals: 4.5/5--beautifully, almost distractingly gorgeously, shot
acting: 3.5/5--standout: Pete Postlethwaite (Father Laurence), John Leguizamo (Tybalt) and Miriam Margolyes (The Nurse)
intangibles: 3/5--the cadence of the film is odd; the original language in combination with the modern action is a hard sell. I liked it more than I thought I would, but didn't love it.
Academy Award nominee: Best Art Direction--Set Decoration
overall: 3.75/5

The Falcon and the Snowman (1985) - "The true story of a disillusioned military contractor employee and his drug pusher childhood friend who became walk-in spies for the Soviet Union."
I watched it because: I love Timothy Hutton's movies (and I also happen to think that he's extraordinarily gorgeous) and have been slowly working through his backlist.
story: 3.5/5--true story, but super complicated and strange
visuals: 3/5--this film is sadly dated from the visual perspective
acting: 3.5/5--standouts: besides Hutton, Dorian Harewood (Gene) is really good, and David Suchet (Alex) is creepy as all get-out.
intangibles: 4/5--Sean Penn and Hutton were 25 years old here. They were doing great work, challenging and controversial, 35 years ago. If that doesn't make this worth watching, you're probably not a movie fan.
overall: 3.5/5

History of the World: Part I (1981) - "Mel Brooks brings his one-of-a-kind comic touch to the history of mankind covering events from the Old Testament to the French Revolution in a series of episodic comedy vignettes."
I watched it because: I've seen it before, but it was during college and I was clearly too out of it to recall anything except the most broad strokes. There is a lot here to take in.
story: 2/5--believe me when I say that there is no story here
visuals: 3/5--not what this is all about
acting: 4.5/5--it's not "acting" per se, but outstandingly funny and a real showpiece for the cast. Standouts: Madeline Kahn (Empress Nympho) is the absolute best, and Gregory Hines (Josephus) shows off his many talents. Harvey Korman's Count de Monet ("dee MonAY! dee MonAY!") is a classic.
intangibles: 5/5--like Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles, this is a genius script, displaying brilliant comics and actors doing fantastic work. It may not be high cinema, but it's absolutely worth seeing.
overall: 3.625/5

Patriots Day (2016) - "The story of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and the aftermath, which includes the city-wide manhunt to find the terrorists responsible."
I watched it because: I like Mark Wahlberg, and it came recommended on my Amazon feed. I had no idea what it was about until starting to watch it.
story: 4/5--this is difficult to answer. (See "overall" for more.)
visuals: 5/5
acting: 4/5--standouts: besides Wahlberg (as Tommy Saunders), John Goodman was extraordinary as Commissioner Ed Davis, and Jake Picking (Officer Sean Collier) stole every scene he was in.
intangibles: 5/5--sad, moving, compelling. Incredibly beautiful and horrifying.
overall: 4.5/5--Like Schindler's List and Triumph of the Will, this is a movie that everyone should see, but perhaps no one should want to see. Extraordinarily hard to watch, but important. If you love someone who is a runner, or who lives in Boston, or who works in law enforcement, this will chill you to the bone.

The Big Easy (1986) - "A corrupt lieutenant in the homicide division is threatened by the righteous DA while trying to solve a string of mysterious murders."
I watched it because: I've seen it before (maybe when it first came out?) And definitely when I was first dating he whom I would later marry.
story: 4/5
visuals: 3/5--a little dated, but the whole New Orleans vibe is still pretty compelling
acting: 2.5/5--this isn't a movie about thespian skill. It's about cheesy as Hell accents, Dennis Quaid looking like an anatomy text (holy ... wow), and some of the most realistic and incendiary onscreen sex that's ever been filmed.
intangibles: 3/5--there's just something about this movie. Greater than the sum of its parts.
overall: 3.125/5

[the title quotation is by Alfred Hitchcock]

starting from this day forward, I intend to live my life differently

To sleep and forget everything for a few hours ...
To wake to the sound of the foghorn in July.
To look out the window with a heavy heart and see fog
hanging in the pear trees, fog clogging the intersection,
shrouding the neighborhood like a disease invading a healthy
body. To go on living when she has stopped living ...
A car eases by with its lights on, and the clock is
turned back to five days ago, the ringing and ringing that brought me
back to this world and news of her death, she who'd simply been
away, whose return had been anticipated with baskets
of raspberries from the market. (Starting from this day
forward, I intend to live my life differently. For one thing,
I won't ever answer the phone again at five in the morning. I knew
better, too, but I still picked up the receiver and said that fateful
word, "Hello." The next time I'll simply let it ring.)
First, though, I have her funeral to get through. It's today, in a
matter of hours. But the idea of a cortege creeping through this fog
to the cemetery is unnerving, and ridiculous, everyone in this town
with their lights on anyway, even the tourists ...
May this fog lift and burn off before three this afternoon! Let us
be able, at least, to bury her under sunny skies, she who worshiped
the sun. Everyone knows she is taking part
in this dark masque today only because she had no choice.
She has lost the power of choice! How she'd
hate this! She who loved in April deciding
to plant the sweetpeas and who staked the before
they could climb.

*~*~*

I light my first cigarette of the day and turn away from 

the window with a shudder. The foghorn sounds again, filling me 

with apprehension, and then, then stupendous 

grief. 

 

[Raymond Carver {1938-1988} 'Summer Fog' from A New Path to the Waterfall]

it sits in wait

Some have children in more foreseeable ways:
Cesareans, episiotomies, long hours of labor
or paperwork, adoptions that often take years.
My girl, she came to me when the rope burns
on my brother's neck were still fresh from his hanging,
the noose tied up in the knots of her mother's

tourniquet, needles still cluttering the floor. Mothers,
I've been told, are not born but made--always
runners of the tight shift, leavers of the light on--hanging
one hat up only to put on another, their labor
of love still & always labor. What candle burns
at both ends & still lasts the night? We did not have years

to find our rhythm; we did not have yesteryears
to lean on or call up, nor succor, neither of us mothers
to phone with a thermometer in one cheek & the burns
of death's whiplash on the other. Some lose children in conceivable ways:
bee stings, enlistment, the bloody shock of difficult labor
that comes months too early & leaves every head hanging

in the waiting room. My girl made her great escape from a car hanging
upside-down over a freeway divider, all twelve of her years
broken into as many pieces, a puzzle of bone no surgeon's labor
could solve. Sorrow, I have learned, is long-legged like our mothers,
& stalks me with a glacier's patience. It sits in wait. If there are ways
of burying a body--still breastless & birdlike & fresh with sunburns--

no mother ever taught me how. If there is grief so torrid it burns
the mother out of you, I have known it. Her coat is still hanging
in the hall closet as if she, too, returns home with us on the subway
after stacking stones to sit by the window & stare. Years
ago, I dreamt she had broke free of the soil, face--like her mother's--
pale as a bar of soap. She padded into the kitchen to belabor

the leaky sink: its quiet drip that refuses the plumber's labor
& remains, like a stray dog at the door. Sometimes the sound burns
like sun through a magnifying glass into the middle of my mother-
less dreams, tapping at the ache found pregnant & hanging
between the ticking second hand of the mantle clock. Years
of sometimes have made me cautious of bus stops & railways

& other laborious intersections of bodies & speed. Unchanging
now, like my own mother, I am afraid of sleep. Instead, I layaway
& awake in the burn of night, my womb a bed no one's slept in for years.

[Meg Day 'Taker of the Temperature, Keeper of the Hope Chest', from Best New Poets 2013]

soon it was no longer about us

I'm saying I was wrong
and he was wrong
and that our two wrongs together
were like a river hitting
the first of the big rocks.
His tit for my tat didn't approve anything
for anyone. Except for the hikers
who looked at the rapids
from a huge distance in their dry shoes.

They saw water leaping,
something beautiful happening.
And maybe it benefited a black bear
who managed to paw an extra fish
out of the equation. Soon it was no longer
about us. The hikers kept gawking
through binoculars down into the canyon,
and the bear continued to eat.
Fish were never intended to be immortal.
Surprisingly, I had thought of none of this.
I'm saying I was wrong.

I didn't expect the wilderness of love
to be something you had to pack for.

[Kristen Tracy 'An Analogy' from Half-Hazard: Poems]

each word subsists in the guts of others

nobody knows who one is and
the texture of not knowing this
doesn't feel human. one says
these things aloud.

the daily affiliations collude as
allergens around the sleeping head.
one wakes and within minutes is
again a friend / brother / son /
student / teacher / debtor / eater,
wishing authenticity would crawl
in teleprompter lines ascending
violet over the eyes.

the dishes spill a war of effort
from the sink, across the counter,
the coffeemaker's under siege.

the disconsolation of being mass-
produces the placebo of semantics
without quota or switch. "can't
you fucking shut it off" each word
subsists in the guts of others. one
bottles them all and becomes
a container of supplements--

"but why won't he want me"
"why won't he just want me"
"why won't he want just me"

[Justin Phillip Reed 'On Self-Reliance', from Indecency]

what's gone

Zero's the opposite of grief
(unless you count the word),
stands proxy in the place
of nothing.

Grief's palms encircle faces,
presence: what's gone.
A half-empty perfume bottle,
voice the answering machine clicks on:

"I can't come
to the phone right now...."
Zero marks what isn't there.
Grief is what remains.

[Cullen Bailey Burns 'Plenty of Nothing', from Slip]

the universal law is that the most frustrating thing will always happen, no matter how unlikely

Catching up on the once-a-week movie posts: the "unlikely choice" edition. SPOILER ALERT: There are little spoilers all over this post, so if you haven't seen 'em, don't read 'em.

Bridge of Spies (2015) - "During the Cold War, an American lawyer is recruited to defend an arrested Soviet spy in court, and then help the CIA facilitate an exchange of the spy for the Soviet captured American U2 spy plane pilot, Francis Gary Powers."
I watched it because: astoundingly, this showed up in my queue thanks to the Sebastian Koch obsession. He plays Vogel, the East German wackadoodle.
story: 4.5/5
visuals: 4/5--well...this was shot with an estimated budget of $40MM, which is about 8x the usual (Léon: The Professional was $16MM; Top Secret! was $9M; Trust was $700k) for movies that I like. How could it not be visually arresting?
acting: 5/5--standout: Mark Rylance (Abel)
intangibles: 4/5--great story, great acting (though Tom Hanks {James B. Donovan} is a very unlikely thriller hero!). The details are awesome.
Academy Award winner: Best Supporting Actor--Mark Rylance
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Picture
• Best Writing, Original Screenplay
• Best Music, Original Score
• Best Sound Mixing
• Best Production Design
overall: 4.375/5

Bowfinger (1999) - "When a desperate movie producer fails to get a major star for his bargain basement film, he decides to shoot the film secretly around him."
I watched it because: this one is for my college bf, who put me through endless Steve Martin movies--along with cheap beer and the best subs I've ever had--in a unique wooing ritual.
story: 2.5/5--it's supposed to be silly
visuals: 3.5/5--filmed in and around Hollywood, it managed to do the (seemingly) impossible: now I want to go back to L.A.!
acting: 4/5--standout: Jamie Kennedy (the ridiculous, happy Dave)
intangibles: 3.5/5--it's one of those strange comedies that is simultaneously aware of its own absurdity and still wholly devoted to it. It's charming and fun.
overall: 3.375/5

Taken 2 (2012) - "In Istanbul, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills and his wife are taken hostage by the father of a kidnapper Mills killed while rescuing his daughter."
I watched it because: it's a box set with the first and third films
story: 3/5--a little thin. These poor people are really THAT irritating to a bunch of international thugs? Enough to wipe out half the Turkish mob?? At a financial cost that must have been astronomical? The ROI...I dunno. Guess this is why I'm not a mobster.
visuals: 4.5/5--undeniably gorgeous, it was filmed in Turkey and France (in part) and that portion lends an unreal quality that almost plays the role of another character.
acting: 3/5
intangibles: 2.5/5--Liam Neeson (Bryan Mills) is a very unlikely "action hero." Or perhaps my imagination just fails in this attempt.
overall: 3.25/5

Mystery, Alaska (1999) - "This comedy is about the residents of a small town who get over-excited when their hockey team gets chosen to host a televised event."
I watched it because: I haven't seen many of Russell Crowe's movies, and this one is an interesting outlier in the filmography.
story: 4.5/5
visuals: 5/5--filmed on location in Canada, it is the best and most beautiful of the north. Weird and lovely to be home and watching something that makes me homesick for where I already am!
acting: 4/5--standouts: there's a lot of great stuff here, with a stellar supporting cast. Ron Eldard's Skank shows realistic growth. Michael Buie as Connor is notably sweet and delicate in a field of joyful brutes. Kevin Durand's Tree is the best example of the old-school hockey thugs.
intangibles: 3.5/5--there are some drawbacks here, such as the unreal thoughtlessness and bizarre (albeit singular) appeal of Hank Azaria's Charlie, and the overblown death scene. Russell Crowe (John Biebe) is an odd choice for a sports hero (though the mullet is SO spot-on and he obviously pulls it off!) Overall, though, this is a darkhorse winner.
overall: 4.25/5

Criminal (2016) - "In a last-ditch effort to stop a diabolical plot, a dead CIA operative's memories, secrets, and skills are implanted into a death-row inmate in hopes that he will complete the operative's mission."
I watched it because: I've been accused of having "a thing" about Kevin Costner. I think it's closer to the truth to say that I'm seeing so many movies now that the likelihood that they'll have no recognizable actors in them is pretty goddamned slim.
story: 4/5--very out there, but extraordinarily well explained, easy to follow, and believable
visuals: 5/5--absolutely beautiful. I could watch this again with no sound and get a lot out of it, just because the visuals are so arresting.
acting: 4.5/5--standouts: Tommy Lee Jones (Dr. Franks) and Michael Pitt (Jan Strook). Kevin Costner (Jerico) is an highly unlikely criminal (as Ryan Reynolds {Bill Pope} is an unlikely spy!) but it absolutely works.
intangibles: 4/5--this is a wonderful cast, telling a fascinating story. I didn't know a damned thing about the movie before I started watching it, but now it's likely to be a favorite.
overall: 4.375/5

Blood Diamond (2006) - "A fisherman, a smuggler, and a syndicate of businessmen match wits over the possession of a priceless diamond."
I watched it because: I've seen it before (see this post for the ironical detail) and (obviously) thought it was brilliant. It was time to see it again.
story: 5/5--in all the ways that Criminal was a complicated story explained fairly briefly and completely, Blood Diamond is even more complex and takes the entirety of 143 minutes to flesh out. And it's an important story to tell.
visuals: 4.5/5--tragically, heart-wrenchingly, exotically beautiful
acting: 4.5/5--standouts: Leonardo DiCaprio (Danny Archer)--who is (wait for it) an unlikely action hero!--and Djimon Hounsou (Solomon Vandy)
intangibles: 4/5--heart-breaking.
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Actor--Leonardo DiCaprio
• Best Supporting Actor--Djimon Hounsou
• Best Film Editing
• Best Sound Mixing
• Best Sound Editing
overall: 4.5/5

[the title quotation is from Joe Abercrombie, from The Heroes]

Ben wished the world was organized by the Dewey decimal system. That way you'd be able to find whatever you were looking for

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?
Organizing and shelving a cart full of library materials. I'm woefully out of shape in that field, but after a couple of weeks in the old stomping ground, I could acquit myself reasonably well, all things considered. I'm sure of it.

[from a list originally found on Tumblr - this is #8; the title quotation is by Brian Selznick, from Wonderstruck]

he shook himself

When the man
was pulled out
from
under the debris
of his bombed house,
he shook himself
and said:
Never again

At least not right away.

[Günter Kunert {1929-2019} 'About Some Who Survived' {trans. by Charlotte Melin}, from Twentieth-Century German Poetry, Michael Hofmann, ed.]

people never forget two things, their first love and the money they wasted watching a bad movie

American History X (1998) - "A former neo-nazi skinhead tries to prevent his younger brother from going down the same wrong path that he did."
I watched it because: it's one of those iconic films that seems important to see, and I've liked Edward Norton in what I've seen so far.
story: 5/5--this is pure storytelling. I loathe the phrase "ripped from the headlines," but this movie watches like it's real life, not fiction. That's brilliant.
visuals: 4/5--not always easy to watch, every element has its place and there's a place for every element.
acting: 4.5/5--standout: besides Norton's outstanding performance as Derek Vinyard, Jennifer Lien was wonderful (as his sister Davina)
intangibles: 4.5/5--This film is enormously disturbing, yet sweet and strangely hopeful, and I am so glad that I watched it.
Academy Award nominee: Best Actor in a Leading Role--Edward Norton
overall: 4.5/5

Moulin Rouge! (2001) - "A poet falls for a beautiful courtesan whom a jealous duke covets."
I watched it because: It's one of the three films in the Red Curtain Trilogy by Bas Luhrmann, the first of which--Strictly Ballroom--is among my very favorites of all time.
Academy Award winner:
• Best Costume Design
• Best Art Direction--Art Direction
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Picture
• Best Actress--Nicole Kidman
• Best Film Editing
• Best Cinematography
• Best Makeup
• Best Sound
AFI's 25 Greatest Movie Musicals: #25
overall: 0/5--I pulled it out and threw it away after about 20 minutes. I haven't had such a viscerally negative reaction to a film since 2012's total horseshit black & white adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing. This movie is a prime example of why "critically acclaimed" and "popular" mean absolutely zero to me, and why I watch (and love) so many movies that no one has ever heard of.

No Way Out (1987) - "A coverup and witchhunt occur after a politician
accidentally kills his mistress."
I watched it because: I needed something to clear the taste of Moulin Rouge! out of my system, and a thriller starring Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman sounded perfect.
story: 3.5/5--kinda loopy, but they manage to pull it back together in the end
visuals: 3.5/5--nothing too amazing except the completely implausible submarine rescue and [spoiler alert] Sean Young getting flung to her death from a balcony, saving us from another ill-fitting evening gown
acting: 4/5--standout: Costner is always a winner, and Will Patton as the delightfully slimy Scott Pritchard
intangibles: 3.5/5--Costner seems ambivalent about the romantic aspects of this film, but much more committed to the thriller/intrigue stuff. Hackman's a charismatic bad guy. It's a good movie.
overall: 3.625/5

Speed (1994) - "A young police officer must prevent a bomb exploding aboard a city bus by keeping its speed above 50 mph."
I watched it because: I'd never seen it. Sandra Bullock is always solid, and Keanu Reeves holds a secret place in my heart.
story: 2/5--seriously. 
visuals: 4/5--undeniably engrossing. The scenes where they're looking at/through the bottom of the bus nearly made me hurl.
acting: 3.5/5
intangibles: 3.5/5--I didn't really expect to like it, but I was glued to it from start to finish.
Academy Award winner:
• Best Sound
• Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing
Academy Award nominee: Best Film Editing
overall: 3.25/5

The Painted Veil (2006) - "A British medical doctor fights a cholera epidemic in a small Chinese village, while being trapped at home in a loveless marriage to an unfaithful wife."
I watched it because: it was a preview on something that I watched recently.
story: 5/5--based on a W. Somerset Maugham novel, this is a tragic love story, and it's a travelog to a vastly different time, place, and morality.
visuals: 4.5/5--absolutely stunning. If I hadn't known it was filmed on location in China, I would have thought it was unreal: all CGI.
acting: 5/5--standout: Edward Norton is phenomenal, again. Toby Jones' Waddington is a curious, wonderful distraction. Anthony Chau-Sang Wong is great as the nuanced Colonel Yu.
intangibles: 4/5
overall: 4.625/5

White Heat (1949) - "A psychopathic criminal with a mother complex makes a daring break from prison and leads his old gang in a chemical plant payroll heist. Shortly after the plan takes place, events take a crazy turn."
I watched it because: it's part of my ongoing effort to include more classics in the mix.
story: 2/5--it took a lot for me to even try to get through this. There was a train? And then a cabin? And then a bunch of cars that all looked the same? And a prison??
visuals: 3/5
acting: 3/5--standout: John Archer as Philip Evans
intangibles: 2/5
Academy Award nominee: Best Writing, Motion Picture Story
overall: 2.5/5

How Do You Know (2010) - "After being cut from the U.S.A. softball team and feeling a bit past her prime, Lisa finds herself evaluating her life and in the middle of a love triangle, as a corporate guy in crisis competes with her current, baseball-playing beau."
I watched it because: I wanted something funny after the questionable results of White Heat, and this is an all-star cast. Should be good, right?
story: 2.5/5--to get into the story, you have to buy Reese Witherspoon as a professional softball player (oh come on) and the very hapless Paul Rudd as a CEO. And Owen Wilson as a professional baseball player (though he's never shown doing anything remotely athletic, which is telling).

Minion No GIF from Minion GIFs

visuals: 3/5--pretty people being pretty
acting: 3/5--standout: Jack Nicholson, in the surprising but perhaps satisfyingly scene-chomping role of Charles
intangibles: 3.5/5--there were some truly funny bits (Wilson's sleaze-ball character has a closet stocked with swag for the one-nighter girls he takes home, and Paul Rudd is just generally too adorable to be offensive)
overall: 3/5

The Pirate {a.k.a. God Loves Caviar} (a.k.a. O Theos agapaei to haviari} (2012) - "It is based on the true story of Greek pirate turned businessman Ioannis Varvakis, who made his fortune selling caviar in Russia and all over the world. Varvakis strives all his life for freedom for himself and then for his country, only to find that freedom cannot be won until it is shared."
I watched it because: I'm still in that Sebastian Koch phase....
story: 2/5--SO WEIRD. Like, 90% weirder than the weirdest movie I watch in the typical week. Bizarrely, perplexingly strange. Confusing, wandering ... weird.
visuals: 3/5--filmed on location in Greece and Russia, it is lavish and spectacular. There's a lot of rich costuming and some amazing shots of the sea. Unfortunately, there are also some cardboard sets whose edges show at just the wrong time, so it appears haphazard and careless.
acting: 2/5--in a pool of mediocrity, there is one standout: Evgeniy Stychkin (Ivan) is astoundingly good.
intangibles: 1.5/5--I wanted to like it. I wanted to have some reason for having watched it in the first place. But it's just. So. WEIRD.
overall: 2.125/5

Con Air (1997) - "Newly paroled ex-con and former U.S. Ranger Cameron Poe finds himself trapped in a prisoner transport plane when the passengers seize control."
I watched it because: The Pirate was godawful, and I wanted to see something I knew I'd like. I'd watched this before, but it's been a while. It was just right to clear my movie-watching head.
story: 3.5/5--coincidences run high here
visuals: 4/5
acting: 4/5--standout: nobody does cheerfully malevolent like John Malkovich (Cyrus the Virus), and Steve Buscemi's Garland Greene is a study in small acting
intangibles: 3/5--it's really hard for me to take John Cusack seriously in an action role, since my introduction to him was in all of those late-80s long-bangs angsty chick flicks. That being said, buddying him with the exuberant Nicolas Cage is pretty fun.
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Sound
• Best Music, Original Song
overall: 3.625/5

The Italian Job (1969) - "Comic caper movie about a plan to steal a gold shipment from the streets of Turin by creating a traffic jam."
I watched it because: I've seen the remake fairly recently, and wanted to remind myself of the differences between that and the original.
story: 3.5/5--silly and complex
visuals: 4.5/5--filmed on location in England and Italy
acting: 3/5--This is not Michael Caine's best film; his character (Charlie Croker) is a hound dog with a hair-trigger temper, which can make him hard to watch. Happily, there is a standout: Tony Beckley as Camp Freddie.
intangibles: 3/5--the driving is wonderful (as are the cars themselves), and the final scene is priceless
overall: 3.5/5

Draft Day (2014) - "At the NFL Draft, General Manager Sonny Weaver has the opportunity to rebuild his team when he trades for the number one pick. He must decide what he's willing to sacrifice on a life-changing day for a few hundred young men with NFL dreams."
I watched it because: this movie is a favorite of one of my friends, who finds it borderline insane that I've never seen it. I do love Kevin Costner, so my reluctance to watch it was only so much stubbornness.
story: 4.5/5--very well done
visuals: 4/5
acting: 4/5--standout: Griffin Newman (Rick the Intern) and Arian Foster (Ray Jennings)
intangibles: 4.5/5--given that I've loved all of Kevin Costner's other sports films, it's no surprise that I adored this. Now I want to go back and see the others again, too....
overall: 4.25/5

The War Wagon (1967) - "The story of a man who was shot, robbed and imprisoned who returns to steal a large gold shipment from the man who wronged him. The gold is transported in an armored stage coach, the War Wagon."
I watched it because: I wanted something kind of quiet and mindless in the background while dealing with some household chores.
story: 3/5
visuals: 3.5/5
acting: 3/5--standout: Kirk Douglas, in what may be the first role of his that I've ever seen (Lomax). His line about how he got the cleft in his chin is outstanding.
intangibles: 3/5
overall: 3.125/5

[the title quotation is by Amit Kalantri]

I've practiced the answers to all of their tests

When I asked for a pencil, they gave me a rattle.
When I asked for a hammer, they gave me a kiss.
All mongrel, no matter, I'll stay out past dinner;
I've practiced the answers to all of their tests.

I've given up sweets, their ridiculous shapes,
Their instructions on which ones have cherries.
Everything under the sun is lukewarm;
The poppies are blooming with worry.

When they gave me a map, I thought they were done,
I thought I could take off my dress.
They told me one town was as good as another,
Sent me packing, all fiddle, no case.

Each cul-de-sac greyed like a cooled brown bulb.
All dashboard, all driver, all sky & no cake.
Each neighborhood gatehouse, a live empty socket;
When they asked for my ticket, I gave them a wink.

The instructions all listed Step One as Repeat.
The poppies were planted in rows at the park.
I lived on a circle, then moved onto a square,
Then wandered back into the kitchen half-drunk.

The screen door, the scrim, the latch, the last word.
The glass throats of each vase open wide.
A house is the largest tombstone we make;
We keep walking, grateful, inside.

[Amy Woolard, 'A Girl Gets Sick of a Rose' from Best New Poets 2013]

no one could honestly say that a musical makes sense

A fairly consuming injury, some domestic drama, and a court hearing have kept me away from the blog for a while. Catching up, here are some of the movies from the last couple of weeks...

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) - "An American physician and his wife take matters into their own hands after assassins planning to execute a foreign Prime Minister kidnap their son."
I watched it because: I'm trying to see more Alfred Hitchcock movies, and I like Jimmy Stewart.
story: 3/5--as you'd expect, the story itself is kind of far-fetched
visuals: 4/5--filmed on location in Morocco and England (as well as some in-studio), this is a gorgeous film
acting: 4.5/5--standout: Doris Day is great in the role of Jo, which required a whole lot of singing while stressed out
intangibles: 4.5/5--even the child actor (Christopher Olsen, as Hank McKenna) is terrific. This is a must-see.
Academy Award winner: Best Music--Best Original Song ("Que Sera, Sera")
overall: 4/5

Not Another Happy Ending (2013) - "When a struggling publisher discovers his only successful author is blocked he knows he has to unblock her or he's finished. With her newfound success, she's become too damn happy and she can't write when she's happy. The only trouble is, the worse he makes her feel, the more he realises he's in love with her."
I watched it because: I was looking for something kind of quirky for a gloomy Saturday afternoon. This--on Amazon Prime--was just the thing.
story: 3/5--the "isn't that convenient?" factor is very high
visuals: 3/5--pretty people being pretty, but nothing too memorable
acting: 3.5/5--standout: Iain De Caestecker (Roddy, the best friend) has understated star power
intangibles: 4/5--this is a moody, contemplative, depressing love story. If you can get over all those caveats, you'll love it.
overall: 3.375/5

Albatross (2011) - "Beth, a bookish teenager, befriends Emilia, an aspiring novelist who has just arrived in town. Emilia soon begins an affair with Beth's father that threatens to have devastating consequences."
I watched it because: As we all know, I adore Sebastian Koch--and he was fantastic in this.
story: 4/5
visuals: 5/5--gorgeous film
acting: 4/5--standout: besides Koch, Jessica Brown Findlay (as the rootless rebel Emilia) was terrific. It's also worth a look at the pre-star power Felicity Jones (Beth)
intangibles: 4.5/5--the whole point of the film is a moral conundrum that is not easily resolved. This one will make you think and may stick with you for a while. It certainly has with me.
overall: 4.375/5

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) - "John McClane attempts to avert disaster as rogue military operatives seize control of Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C."
I watched it because: I'm watching the series - and don't recall having seen this one before?
story: 2.5/5--great cinema, this ain't
visuals: 4.5/5--there's a reason this stuff is as popular as it's been: it's like salty snacks for the eyes (OK, ouch?) But my point is that it is compulsively watchable, and in this era Bruce Willis was swaggeringly, bewilderingly hot.
acting: 3/5--standout: John Amos as Grant, the Really Obviously Good Guy, and Art Evans (Leslie Barnes), the nerdy sidekick. And also Tom Bower (who I totally thought was Billy Bob Thornton), as Marvin.
intangibles: 4/5
overall: 3.5/5

The Tourist (2010) - "Revolves around Frank, an American tourist visiting Italy to mend a broken heart. Elise is an extraordinary woman who deliberately crosses his path."
I watched it because: it was a preview on another movie that I watched in the last month or so.
story: 4.5/5--convoluted as Hell, so don't think you can get up to get more to drink without missing a key plot point. It's not confusing so much as intricately detailed.
visuals: 5/5--phenomenal
acting: 4.5/5--standout: Johnny Depp was amazing.
intangibles: 4.5/5--There is something about this film that really drew me in. I think I could watch it again already. Highly recommended.
overall: 4.625/5

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) - "Riggs and Murtaugh are on the trail of South African diplomats who are using their immunity to engage in criminal activities."
I watched it because: I'm watching the series in order. I think I've seen this one? Maybe only at the theater when it first came out, though.
story: 2/5--way, way over the top unbelievable story. These movies get sillier as the series goes on, and this one is pretty insultingly dumb.
visuals: 4/5--filmed on location in California, it's a beautiful film to watch
acting: 2.5/5--standout: Sam the dog, and Joe Pesci (Leo Getz)--and this ought to say something...
intangibles: 2.5/5--the whole creepy South African thing is overdone, as is Riggs' bizarrely untenable reactions to fairly normal cop stuff
Academy Award nominee: Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing
overall: 2.75/5

The Limey (1999) - "An extremely volatile and dangerous Englishman goes to Los Angeles to find the man he considers responsible for his daughter's death."
I watched it because: it's part of a box set that I got with some Jet Li movies.  Don't ask me!
story: 4/5--this is such a Steven Soderbergh movie! He directed it, and his fingers are all over the pie. The way it's cut, the flow of time, the strange senses of humor and personal ethics, they all seem unique to him.
visuals: 3/5--very, very stark
acting: 3.5/5--standouts: Terence Stamp (as the super-creepy, frozen Wilson) and Peter Fonda (as the super-creepy, flamboyantly weird Terry Valentine)
intangibles: 4/5--Steven Soderbergh makes some distinctly peculiar pieces of work
overall: 3.625/5
NOTE: I watched the first 9/10 of this on DVD, as indicated above. I bought the set new from Amazon. Interestingly, at the climax of the film, the DVD froze. When I removed it from the player, I discovered distinct scratches on both the play side and the top (label) side; it had clearly been used many times before and polished as if to make it appear new. However, those top-side scratches rendered it unplayable. Luckily, the title is available on Prime. I watched the last 10 minutes on my [bleep] phone.

Home Again (2017) - "Life for a single mom in Los Angeles takes an unexpected turn when she allows three young guys to move in with her."
I watched it because: I'm always trying to bring something a little softer or funnier into the movie mix.
story: 3.5/5--kind of doofy. Is there any character in this movie who's not famous, or just about there? Come on.
visuals: 4/5--undeniably pretty
acting: 3.5/5--nothing Oscar-worthy here, but there are standouts: Jon Rudnitsky (George, the grown-up friend), Lola Flanery (Isabel, the preteen daughter), and Candice Bergen (Lillian, essentially the "Candice Bergen" type)
intangibles: 3/5--the love interest, Harry (played by Pico Alexander, a strange choice) is implausible, and even Reese Witherspoon's Alice seems unclear about how to sort out the situation beyond the first morning-after. It makes for a kind of long "light" movie.
overall: 3.5/5

[the title quotation is by Siegfried Kracauer]