Are you a fan of romantic gestures?
romantic gestures, Hell yes. Grand gestures, not at all. It's a complicated equation, and I've written about it a few times (from different perspectives) in the last 21 years. See, e.g.: here and here. Sure, I'd like to know that a romantic partner is so moved by their feelings that they express them boldly. I'd love to look out some morning and see flowers outside my window, and know who'd orchestrated the moment—and why. But I am repulsed by public, extravagant proposals, for instance. To know me, and love me, would mean understanding that I am essentially a private person. Those showy events make me cringe.
Do you believe in second chances after bad first impressions?
within reason, yeah. Everyone has a bad day now and then, and the rest of our lives ought not to hinge on truly now-and-then attitudes and behavior. That being said, sometimes a bad first impression is accurate!
Have many times have you been in love?
I think that when a relationship ends, there is a natural and partially willful amnesia about the beloved and your time together. For the sake of sanity, it's hard to recall them "accurately" (as if feelings can be "accurate" at all). Sometimes, the result is to over-romanticize the relationship (anyone still reading who lived through my Johnnie Walker phase?) and other times it's a necessary and complete revulsion (Rowdy, Toby, et. al).
With this caveat: I've been in love a handful of times before.
Have you ever had a run-in with the law?
three times. Twice resulting in a verbal warning and once a written warning.
How do you feel about prenups?
revolted but reluctantly accepting that they are occasionally necessary
If you could erase an ex from your memory, would you?
yup
Tell about something that turns you on—emotionally, personally, intellectually, physically...
focused attention. It's up to you to decide which of the list of adverbs that addresses!
What are your rules for a long distance relationship?
rules??
There are good long-distance relationships and bad ones, the pointless and the strong, the reciprocated and the terribly one-sided, joyful and sad, on and on. I'm not sure it's the long-distance-ness of them that makes the difference, but the individuals involved and their unique and mutual decency. What works is the partners having roughly equivalent desires and capacity for commitment, communication, independence, and fidelity.
Huh, that sounds like what works in a near-distance relationship, too. How extraordinary!
What is your grossest habit?
telling too much truth
What's one movie you're embarrassed to admit you enjoy?
nothing that makes a person happy (well, almost nothing) ought to be considered embarrassing. Life is too short to be wasted feeling sheepish about your own joy.
Anyway, different movies and genres are good for their own purposes. A documentary about an aircraft carrier serves one interest, and an ultra-violent martial arts revenge another. Holiday comedy appeals every now and then, while twisty political thrillers might be more generally good. Deeply intellectual and/or philosophical pictures are sometimes awesome, and films about dancing or cooking or baseball have their space, too. I am embarrassed by none of it.
What's the worst advice you've ever given?
"try not to think about it", "try not to worry", or "let it go." Undeniably illogical, meaningless, and unhelpful.
[adapted from here; the title quotation is by Amor Towles, from A Gentleman in Moscow]
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